An Open Letter to My Valentine

Chris and his wife, Teresa. Photo courtesy of AK Stories.

Its February 14, Valentine’s Day, and once again I sit here trying to think of the perfect gift to get my wife Teresa. I thought of having a bouquet of flowers delivered to her work, and although I’m sure she would appreciate the romantic gesture (all girls love to receive flowers) she’s also a very practical, down-to-earth person, and if you asked her, she’d probably say that she would prefer that I not spend the money. I thought of surprising her for lunch, but she’s a nurse and typically doesn’t get very long of a lunch break, if she gets a break at all. And besides, we’ll most likely go out somewhere for dinner tonight, and again, knowing her, she’ll unselfishly trade in her date night for an opportunity to spend more quality time with her other Valentines, our sons Carson and Ryan, so I’m guessing the four of us will probably be doing something together.

No, for this occasion I decided to go back to the basics, something that is tried and tested, and has always worked for me, I decided to write her a love letter.

The truth is, I used to write her love letters and poems all of the time, back  when we were first dating, even through those early years of our marriage, before kids, and mortgage payments, and all of those other ways life has a tendency to get in the way. That being said, it’s not a good excuse for why I still don’t do it more often.

One of the reasons I wanted to start this blog was to have a platform for writing about my wife and kids. I wanted to be able to share memories, tell funny stories, and document, right there in black and white, how much I care for them so that these   thoughts and feelings will forever be memorialized for them to look back on. It only seemed fitting that I use this as a chance to tell my wife how much I love her, on this, the most special of days.

Dear Valentine,

As I sit here, and try to put into words, what it is that you mean to me, all of the stereotypical clichés just seem to fall short of adequately describing what I feel for you.

I could say that you are beautiful, which you are, even though I have never technically “seen” you since we didn’t meet until after I had already lost my eyesight. That doesn’t matter though, because trust me, enough of my guy friends have told me how lucky I am to have you, so I know you are way out of my league. Instead, I would tell you that your real beauty comes from all of these other parts of you that only I get to experience every day, things that I don’t need a pair of working eyes to be able to see. 

I could tell you that you are the kindest person I know, which again, is a true statement, but really, it’s the way you go about performing all of those countless acts of kindness that is awe inspiring to me. You are the most unselfish person I know, and are always putting other people first, and I know this because I’m the one that watches you struggle with how to appease everyone, but not because you feel like you have to, because you sincerely want to—you’re just that type of person.

I could talk about how much you make me laugh, and how much joy you bring to my life, but mostly it’s the little things that you do that make me smile. It’s the way you relentlessly pick on the boys, or the silly high-pitched voices you use to talk to Zanna when you come downstairs in the morning, it’s a tapestry of all of these things that make you one of the funniest people I know. And it doesn’t hurt that I was actually able to find someone who appreciates my sick sense of humor, and can belly laugh along with me when I do something stupid in public that elicits some funny look from a stranger.

I could talk about our friendship, how you are in fact my best friend, but that wouldn’t come close to describing all of the intimate moments we have shared over the years. There are things about me, us, that only you and I will ever know, and that’s something that transcends the boundaries of friendship, and firmly places this special thing  that you and I have into an altogether new category. 

I could talk about how you are my soulmate, that there is no one else in the world that understands me the way that you do. And despite all of my faults, and shortcomings, and imperfections, you still just see me as that same guy you first fell in love with, which is amazing in and of itself.

And I could tell you that I love you, from the bottom of my heart (whatever that is supposed to mean), but that doesn’t come close to describing how lucky I feel to wake up next to you each morning, that of all of the people in the world, you chose me to share your life with. There’s also no way mere words can express the impact you have had on my own capacity to love, but that is exactly what you have done, and continue to do every day. I love you, and because I love you, it makes me a better person. It’s the type of love that instinctively places your wife and family ahead of everything else, that helps to insulate you from life’s hardships and makes even the most mundane days seem special, because you are sharing them with the people that mean the most to you. The type of love I have for you is limitless, unwavering, unconditional, the kind of love that makes me miss you while you are at work and at the same time look forward to growing old and gray with you. And although I don’t nearly show it as much as I should, and sometimes forget to do those little things like write you a love letter, believe me when I say that it isn’t because I take your love for granted, nothing could be furthest from the truth.

So, it is with this letter that I once again declare my love for you, my special valentine, today and every day after, forever yours.

Happy Valentine’s Day!